Hye! meet you again. well, today's 18 March 2014. You know? i stopped my study at ump. i think it's a good action. maybe? cause i can't bear with those suckingful living. i don't even can find what's meaning of "life" there. i knew, i have talent in "language". i love language. mandarin especially. i was hoping since i was 6 years old to study at chinese school. so that i can have a very good conversation in mandarin. and the most things is that i do really wanna have a chinese guy as my future-hubby. i hate malay guys.

i did apply many things right now, but then my mind still thinking bout STPM i really dont know why! So, forget to tell you. before this, i worked at baby shop. it's not so interesting. gaji ciput bahau. like a stupid man. just sitting. waiting for customer. and i do really hate that. then, its very grateful for attending once interview. i got a job where's with SPM cert, i earn salary/income even more than RM3500.00. Great right? i can bravely swear in the name of God, i've never think about this kinda of job. But, i do really hate with admin title. too many things need to do. i hate make letters. but nevermind, at least i can improve myself.

Then, all the workers there were very kind!  ok. i just wanna ask you one thing. is there any men outthere wanna have relationship with a fat girl like me? you know? i hate fat. but what can i do? sometimes, i hate myself for not being myself. u get it? haha. ok, like this. i think, i'm still in identity crisis. i still cant find my REAL me. and i dont even know whats actually our purpose to live in this world? sometimes, i'm lost. now, i can even set my own ambition. what's actually i wanna be? a doctor? an engineer? a teacher?

when i'm asking myself, i love teach others. i love to become a teacher. but then, do you know? it's sooooo hard to be a teacher. there's sooooo  many things we have to do. with the RPP, meetings, with the students.. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! i don't know!

is medical suites me?or maybe engineering? i dont know! i was once stude electrical. nah! y it's sooo hard for me to adapt that course? maybe because of my clothes? big hijabs, big body and whatsoever! i wondered, y i dont even have boyfriends? like other women. i dont think so that all guys were thinking bout wanna having sex or taking kesempatan. no! ohh c'mon! dunia dah makin modern. shits! i hate my living! such hipokrit!

So now, what's in ur mind? do u still wanna continue with electrical? or maybe medical? or teacher?
shits! HOLY shits! help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haritu, tmpat kerje aku ade pegi retreat. pegi melaka and bowling. gambar melaka, x brape nak ade. tp, sumpah best!!!!!!!!! for the first time aku lalui saat2 indah tu. naik banana boat. mandi pantai. main2 mix boys and girls. mcm... wow! haha. then, semalam main bowling! sumpah best. aku dpt strike! loncat x ingat dunia! haha. pastu, kt tmpat keje aku ade lunch free. sumpah grateful giler babi. ko cari arr sendir, tmpat kerja mane je yang akn sediakn mknan kt staff? haha. then dua kali dah bos belanje. sup UK and redwok. hahahahahahhahaha best wehhhhhhhhhhh! this's what we called enjoy this living!